It's Only Human to Love
by shoret
Summary: Jared's point of view. What made Jared decide to hold a knife to Doc's throat? "What happens here when it rains, Jared?" Little hints of JH/MS. Complete!


DISCLAIMER: Anything you recognize isn't mine besides I am a poor college student who owns nothing so suing me would be pointless.

IOHtL

It's Only Human to Love

IOHtL

My heart broke as I saw Wanda accept death with such strength. The parasites were bad. The parasites took over. The parasites erased us. Not Wanda, not precious-self sacrificing Wanda. Wanda could never hurt anything. I almost couldn't let her do this, almost. As unfair as this was for Wanda I needed Mel back. My body physically hurt without her and it was torture to almost see her, to see her mouth without her smile, her eyes without her mischief, her body without her in control of it. I wasn't as strong as Wanda. When I told her I loved her I truly meant it. I loved Wanda for what she had done for us. I loved her for what she was still going to do. She backed away from me a few steps with her eyes on the floor. Meek, strong, caring Wanda was breaking before me.

"What happens here when it rains, Jared? She whispered. "Where do people sleep?"

It was in moments like these that I realized how young she truly was. She may look like an adult, but her naivety and fear were still that of a child. I felt like she had been here for years, but she had only been here for months. She still didn't know how our home sang when it rained. Millions of pings resounded through its dark expanse. She didn't know how the desert came even more alive under the rain. She didn't know the warm clean smell that permeated the air. Tears rushed to my eyes, her's remained on the floor. This just made it worse. Did she have to be so accepting? Guilt and grief vied for top position in my heart.

"We…" I swallowed at the emotion in my voice. "We all move into the game room. Everyone sleeps in there together." Everyone use to sleep there. Wes would never sleep there again. Walter would never sleep there again. Wanda would never sleep there. The fact that I couldn't add again to the end of that thought hurt more than it should, more than I could bear. I had to know why. Why she asked; why it hurt me that she wasn't going to sleep with us. Just why this was the way it was. "Why?" The one would came out as a broken whisper. I couldn't say anymore.

Her eyes never left the floor even as she thought over her answer and spoke to me. "I just wanted to … imagine. How it would be."

There was no resentment in her voice only quiet acceptance, a knife in my heart. Wanda believed that this was the only way to make things right. Wanda didn't deserve this. Wanda deserved to sleep in the rec room with us. Wanda deserved to experience Jeb's playful threats to shut it and get to sleep. Wanda deserved to experience the feeling of being surrounded and accepted by her family, this family. Wanda deserved to be here just as much as Melanie.

That thought took me by surprise because I meant it. I meant it with my whole heart, my whole being. "Goodbye, Jared. Mel says she'll see you soon."

No my heart, mind, and body screamed. This wasn't right. This couldn't happen. Wanda couldn't kill herself. Wanda started walking away. "Wait …" I called as my hand reached out to her. Her back was already toward me. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. This wasn't fair. I know that life isn't fair, this life hadn't been, but I was still struck with righteous anger suddenly. "Wanda …"

She ran faster down the tunnel. No. No. No. I had to do something. I couldn't lose her. We couldn't lose her … but I couldn't live without Mel either. I had to stop this. Wanda would be taken out of my Mel but I would not let her kill herself. She was going to make it through this if she wanted to or not. I would keep her even if I had to keep her as a worm. I was greedy. I realized my faults. I accepted them. I was greedy, but I was allowed to be: I was human. My home, world, and life had been taken from me. I wouldn't lose Wanda. Jamie wouldn't lose Wanda. Ian wouldn't lose Wanda. I deserved to keep her. We deserved to keep her.

I raced down the hall after her. It was time to have a little discussion with Doc. He would see my side. He knew about family. He knew about love. He knew we couldn't live knowing we helped Wanda commit suicide. He wanted her as much as me, as much as Jamie, as much as Ian. I smirked at that thought. Maybe he didn't want her as much as Ian, but I don't think anyone did. Doc would help me because he loved Wanda too. It may be wrong to keep her against her wishes and put her in another body but she would have to deal with it. I was a greedy, lying, manipulative human but I couldn't help it. It was only human to love, to love and fight for it against all logic and reason.

IOHtL

A/N: When I read this part of the story it tore me up so I had to write Jared's point of view. Oh by the way all of the dialogue is taken directly form the novel. I hope you like it. This is my first time to write for 'the host' so please read and review!


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